you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
