you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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