Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
