Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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