What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
