YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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