You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
