She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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