i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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