he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
