Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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