Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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