No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
