He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
