Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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