Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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