ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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