it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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