Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
