you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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