butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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