I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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