erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
