just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
