Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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