Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
