could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
