I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
