I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
pray to the hookup gods
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
