well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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