Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
