Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
