Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Are we still banned from the library?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
