You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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