In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Say something about gay babies.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
