9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They took my balls.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
