why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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