i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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