I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
