How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
