quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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