No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
