Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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