You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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