Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
