yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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