Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
