was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize