Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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