McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dick very happy bro
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
