Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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