yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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