he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
