love makes seman taste better
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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