if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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