Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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