from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
